pretty in pink

I decided to change things around, and I'm sure my poor, dear friend Jessa will HATE reading a pink blog.  I'll hear that it gives her a headache, but (rest assured Jessa) I am not sure this is how I want to leave it...just had some time so I thought I'd play around with the settings and stuff.  I'm out of time for tonight, though...so pink it stays!

I'm soooo incredibly disappointed in myself for starting to blog and not following through.  I had every intention of using it as an outlet during this deployment, and (big surprise) life got in my way! 

I honestly haven't had much of an outlet, other than a few great friends about a bazillion miles away.  It really feels like they're THAT far!  In Kansas right now, the friend scene is not so happening.  When you live on an Army base, you kind of go through friends in spurts and a lot of the people I knew here PCS'd (moved to another duty station), ETS'd (got out of the Army), or had some crisis that caused them to leave the area.  I am currently in an ALMOST friend-less state, sigh.  I say almost because I know the very few people I do know here would be highly offended if they weren't taken into consideration.

I've been keeping pretty busy.  I joined PWOC, which is a fellowship/bible study for military wives and I LOVE IT!  If only I weren't feeling so shy lately (which is totally NOT me?!), I'm sure I'd be making good friends there.  I also have a puppy to care for and train, kids, the house, bills, meals to prep, chauffeur jobs to get the girls to and from school, Girl Scouts, and Good News Club.  Basically, the usual.  I just don't have a lot of help with it all so there are days it can be a little overwhelming. 

I'm currently (putting off?) going back to school.  I want to go back so bad, but the thought of more student loans and managing homework on top of everything else is a little intimidating.  I have the tax papers strategically placed so that every single time I use the computer, they look at me looking at them.  They're practically begging me to pick them up and punch in their numbers on the FAFSA website.  I just haven't found the courage quite yet.

This deployment has been an odd one.  Steve had his 15 days of R&R in June and met up with the girls and I in Indiana.  It seemed like it was way too early for him to come home, considering the length of the deployment.  Honestly, though...up until about two weeks ago time was flying for me.  I'm not sure what happened, but I feel like time has turned on me and is dragging on for far longer than the clock reveals.  It's like time is totally inconsistent; when I need it there isn't enough.  When I wish it would fly, it just torments me.

I suppose maybe that's why I came back to this.  As busy as I feel, there are times things are moving in slow motion.  The minutes that I do have to myself tick on slow and deceptive, feeling more like hours.  Maybe if I can actually stick to it I can write myself right through the remainder of the deployment!  I've already contemplated sleeping through it, and that seems highly unlikely.